Monday, 16 November 2015

The Bear, Esher. Part 1

Well, here we go at last. Sorry it's been so long but had another hip replacement and had problems getting access to our blog (had to wipe my laptop cos it was running like a bag of shite and afterwards Blogger said I had no blogs??) Still, all sorted now (fingers crossed).

    So, It's been a while since our last trip and I just hope we can remember what happened. We set off mid-morning for the M42, M40 and M25. Wasn't really looking forward to the drive as all three motorways can be a nightmare, but we had a fairly trouble free journey which was made all the better by the numerous classic Minis we passed on the way. There were some really beautiful cars. 

    As we approached the bottom of the M40 we decided to stop at the services for some food. The only reason I mention this is that, near us, in the Midlands, the services are pretty bog standard with a MacDonalds and a Costa Coffee or a KFC and a Starbucks and not much else. But Beaconsfield? Hell! I could live there!!
     For anyone who hasn't been to a services round the capital, let me explain........It has a MacDonalds, KFC, Starbucks, M & S simply food, Greggs, Carvery Express, El Mexicana, Mint Leaves Indian Restaurant, Nandos, Patisserie Valerie (cakes), Francesca Ristorante, Chozen Noodle and a Wetherspoons!!!!! Happy Days! So we sat in the car park, filling our faces and watching a pair of red kites scare the shit out of every bird around.

I didn't notice the birds... I did notice the brand spanking Audi R8. The driver was a slim, 6 foot handsome bastard, with a tasty wife... probably had a small dick. 
Minis were great, otherwise, an uneventful journey to the hotel in the picturesque setting of Junction 10 of the M25. Cheap and cheerful is how we roll! I gotta say, I do love a good hotel. Me and the Mrs stopped in a 5 star gig in Amsterdam, It had a plasma in the bath! (not in the bathroom, actually built into the bath). It was well worth the money, but now with kids, and having to visit 40 places, £100 a night wasn't an option any more, so we book hotels as cheap as we can, and central Esher hotels were well expensive. As it turns out, our hotel was the wrong side of the motorway, so after we'd checked in, we went for a walk to see where we could cross the motorway and call a taxi to take us the rest of the way. We couldn't cross. With our tail between our legs, we went back to the hotel and asked the receptionist for a local taxi firm. The taxi turned up and we had to drive 5 miles back the way we came just to get across the pissing motorway. After an eternity, we arrived in central Esher. And we were charged £22! I suddenly had this feeling that this was going to be an expensive weekend. 
    Esher is very nice, but that's what money brings I suppose. and there appeared to be plenty of money. We took a little walk around to take in the sights. There wasn't a Poundland, Aldi, Lidl, or even a Tesco Express! How do these people survive? There were some art studios... Antiques shops... All the essentials. We stumbled upon Sandown Horse Racing.... Circuit? Track?


Cheers pops.... Maybe you should take over....

There weren't many run of the mill cars either. Lots of Jags, big Audis, Porsches and a couple of Lambos. Very affluent area. I just hoped I'd bought enough money! It didn't help when we passed a beer and wine shop advertising craft beers. I was just about to go in when I noticed a bottle of Champagne in the window for £355. So I gave it a miss.

Nice Church
With strange graves
They are called Hogsback graves and are probably pushing 1000 years old

    After the walk round (nice place with some very nice buildings) we decided it was time for some refreshment so called in The Albert Arms which has a nice rooftop terrace, perfect for a summers day like today. Unfortunately, there was a wedding reception and the terrace was closed to the public. Hey Ho! So we stood at the bar and ordered a couple of pints. £10. Could have been worse I suppose. So we stood there people watching and after about 10 minutes  Clint turned to me and said "Do you know, I don't think I could talk to anyone in here. Do you?" "Maybe one" I replied, "this guy sat behind me". He was almost my age and sat on his own at a high table with bar stools. So I went over and asked if he minded if I sat down. 

So.. There I was... Stood at this bar, Wearing my Star Wars T-shirt, and there was a lot of toffs in Eton style suits, A Michael Winner wannabe, with Donald Trump's Love Child screeching in her american drawl. To say I felt out of place was an understatement. I did not have a good feeling about this place at all, so I did the one thing I knew how...

I ran to Daddy.

Dad was talking to a normal bloke! We had literally found the last bastion of the working man in Esher. We chatted about Footy, work, and he told us about his adventures as a travelling salesman. We had to end it on an awkward note, as he was a Palace fan and the Mighty Foxes had just kicked there ass over the weekend, Oh well, Its the price of success I suppose. About this time I had to go water the horse and the conveniences were also upmarket.

Splashback to protect your shoes and troos

Dave said he'd moved into Esher in the last few weeks. He also said it was the worst mistake he'd ever made because, like us, he didn't think they were the kind of people he could mix with, which is why he was sat alone. He was glad he hadn't sold his old house cos he was gonna move back and rent out the one in Esher. This isn't to say they were bad people. Just not our kind of people. Maybe I'm too working class. Anyway we said farewell to Dave and headed to the main event, The Bear.

Anyway, that's all for now. More soon. Cheers!!

PS... If you look at and read this PLEASE PLEASE leave a comment, even if it's "What a load o' shite". Thanks